Update:
Left to right: Lihua, Yiching and Yanyu, in case you don't know.
It has been four years and I've never ever been able to leave it behind. In nearly every interview I've had since then, whether it be for work or school, I've never failed to mention that it was my pride, my joy and my motivation to keep on working and pushing through because that's the very place I've learned these qualities from. The second home I've been living in through my middle/high school life. And you all are, as cliche as it does sound, my beloved family members.
Through 2 cheer competitions and 2 SYFs (during my time), so much the band has gone through, so much everyone gained, so much more to share and understand why the process is paramount in getting to where we are.
We all cried, those tears of anguish when we weren't appreciated, our efforts weren't reciprocated, misunderstandings between us, leading to more lectures and cursing; those tears of joy and happiness when we finally achieved what we wanted, when every single one of us finally realized the true meaning of what teamwork is about.
Sure there were obstacles. Sure there was unhappiness, despise and hatred for what we had wanted to love. I ain't an exception. Many a time I wanted to give up. Many a time I could see people wanting to throw in their unused towel. How much more can we bear before another crumbles and leaves a trail behind?
The leaders screamed.
The members couldn't be fucked.
The teachers were exasperated.
What an equation with a really assed derived answer.
If I could recall those memories in the early part of 2004, the year with the SYF void, there was time to organize a cheer group to participate in the annual Sports Day Inter-CCA Cheer Competition. Myself heralding the company then, I attempted to recruit the recruits (lol) which was a traditional affair to get the secondary one members involved. It was a fruitless effort which brought myself and my fellow leaders to gather the secondary two members instead. It could have been easier if they weren't already pissed off from the fact that they were the ones who had to go through more dreaded marching and shouting sessions with me. In addition, drawing up formation charts, counting steps, creating cheers, organizing more practices and uniform distribution added much more to our work strain. (Damn tiring okay. Sheesh.) The best part was having some seniors giving us the thumbs-down during one of our practices without only half the members around. Of course we were upset, of course we were disappointed, of course our spirits were dampened and there were only a few weeks left. What else could we have done? Either give up there and then, or push through till the end.
So there we were, after much arguing with some members and negative feedback, we just did what we did. And what had to happen was, yes, I screwed up. I didn't drop the mace (fortunately) but oh well, that was in the past. Timothy cried. Yes you did! And I'd like to give a shout out to the secondary two members from back then (Hannah, Krystal, Ulric, Kun Loong, Michelle, Fiona, Tricia, Lee Yen and many more), the few secondary ones who participated (Xin Ni, Yan Ling, Jason and WAX) and most of all to my fellow leaders who had made all this possible. Jacqueline, Regina, Timothy, Alvin, Kun Yu, Betsy. And of course, the band's support and the percussion section.
Cheers (pun unintended) to you all.
Who can ever forget SYF in the year 2005?
The most stressful period I've ever had been through in band, on top of the fact that it was my graduating year, the final year in ZHSS. Plenty of new introductions. Plenty of new transitions. Plenty of new skills to learn.
I could mention every single time I had to chase, every single time I had to lecture, every single time I had shed tears because it was getting on my nerves. I had wondered so many times over and over, why the fuck was I putting in so much effort for something that wasn't going to affect my future career-wise and that no one seemed to be appreciating what I was doing?
So many changes.
Too much to cope with.
The committee was bound and supportive, for which I was extremely grateful for.
Yet, I could have done more. So much more.
It was never enough, wasn't it?
Members dropped from the SYF line-up.
Frustrations and flared tempers at rehearsals, sectionals and even at fall-ins.
The counting down of the days and the number of practices we had left before the actual day of our defining performance.
"BAND! DOWN! NOW!"
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"
I was such an asshole. One of my senior DMs once mentioned that although it doesn't seem to appear on the surface, being a DM involves everyone hating you. Was that the case? I wasn't surprised, even I had realized that from the first time I pumped the band.
The uniform saga.
At it had been repeated over and over, the blazers never reached us in time because they were still "swimming from Batam". Hence, we wore white long-sleeved shirts, dark grey pants, black shoes, the school ties and the girls had their hair bunned up. Every single strand of hair out of the face. Unless you had short bangs which can't be helped. If not, then it's the hairpins and hair gel. The first thing that came to my mind was that we looked like a funeral band. Had we sounded like one?
Final Destination. SCH.
Waiting in the lobby. Waiting for our turn into the tuning room where an unexpected event involving a player being commanded not to play later. Waiting with the other bands before entering the hall. Yuying and Beatty Secondary School bands were right before us with River Valley High after us. It was extremely nerve-wrecking. Our uniforms beside Beatty's white military outfits with tassels and badges complete with high-knee socks seemed utterly woeful. We refused to listen to their music because it might throw us off-track. Finally, our turn came.
Honestly, I panicked. Because my sitting position wasn't aligned. But heck that. So we sat, and just played. Who cared about who thought we were a band with no future? Why bother about those sneers and jeers? It was the greatest experience any band member could have. It being SYF was just a bonus, with the award a cherry on a cupcake. That was when I realized every single moment through those gruelling practices was worth it. Being able to play with your members who cared about band, who had passion like you, and were dedicated enough to come to rehearsals on time and understand the importance of 'one band one sound, one missing no sound'. And that was it.
Everyone else left while the sec5s, Beatrice, Miss Chan and myself stayed on for the results. More performances by other bands before waiting for what seemed like eternity the judges to deliberate and decide who will be eliminated (ANTM wtf just kidding). It was rather entertaining initially, watching the other bands' reactions to their results. Some cheered loudly, some were utterly depressed and I saw this particular member waiting to jump in his seat and had to sink down when he heard his band...well, didn't do as well he must have thought. Then it came. Beatrice and I squeezed our eyes shut and clutched onto each other's hands as Ms. Michelle Quek (yes I remember her from NCO Camp) announced what we had been waiting for. And...we did it. Better than I had thought. The rest became a blur as both of us jumped and started screaming and hugging each other, every other eye in the hall on us. Who cared? We had done it. Except till Michelle asked us to sit down so she could announce the rest of the results.
I could relieve that moment again and again, replaying in my head until I disintegrate. The return to school was another unforgettable scene. Having most of the members still around, waiting for us to celebrate our victory and our band.
Of course, this hasn't become a note just about SYF. It's so much more than that.
Beatrice and I weren't amused the very next day when the very same band performed poorly at the Sports Day contingent rehearsal. It was kind of laughable really.
Nevertheless, what drives everyone is a common and mutual understanding.
Any leader, any member and any teacher could have preached in over and over that even I get tired of hearing what I have said and what others have said. Because it doesn't have to be this way. Attending band practice isn't just for the sake of attendance. Is it that big a deal that you have made the attendance mark for your CCA grade? What's so amazing about telling people that you know how to play a musical instrument in a band without listening to the others?
I can safely say, right here and now, that I have absolutely no respect for those who don't turn up to practices regularly without valid reason and simply appear in crucial performances and end up screwing everything up. What's the point? I'm not saying that these members are dispensable. What I'm trying to put across is just this question - what are your priorities?
What I'd really hate to see in time to come, are unhappy band members who regret. It's the worst situation you can be in because you have lost a priceless experience you could have been through if only you had understand what you had wanted then.
Band isn't just a music CCA to collect points, blowing a song or two and calling it a day.
Remember that whatever you are putting in right now, is going to come out the other way, in your face, soon enough.
Although it has been ages, my time has never ended. Nor has any alumni's. We've already been through that phase and have moved on, but we leave a print in the music room and band store that can never be erased. I am proud to have been part of Zwinds. I am proud to have the current members as my juniors because I know they're all going to be useful members of society in the near future. If there is any other reason to substantiate that, it is that you are being true to your own passion. Don't disappoint yourself. Live it and believe it.
